Give me a Head with Hair...

Gavin loves my hair. Where other kids have security blankets or stuffies, he has my hair. (He does finally have both a blanket and a bear that he loves but so far they're a poor replacement for my hair). When he was a baby I would be nursing him and he would stretch his little arm up towards my face in search of some hair to touch. He'd pat his hand all around my face until he found a strand of hair that he could run his fingers through. Now when he's scared or hurt or sad he'll say "Pup pup Mommy" (translates to up up Mommy) and immediately shove his fingers in the back of my hair. When we're reading together he'll say "I need to touch your hair" and gently run his fingers through it. Sweet right? Well sort of.

He needs my hair most at night time. Sleep is a premium in our home (after nearly 18 months of barely getting any) and for now Gavin still needs help going to sleep. I will lie down with him and his fingers immediately go for my hair. Or, he could be in a deep sleep when I get in bed (we co-sleep) and through some bizarro sixth sense he'll roll over to immediately put his hands in my hair. He is usually quite gentle but has recently taken to pulling it at the roots and I worry that I may go bald before he grows out of this. It is both sweet and irritating at the same time.

Last night we are in bed and I can tell he is starting to fall asleep but he is still running his fingers through my hair. Sometimes just the action of it keeps him awake. So I gently push his hand away, hoping upon hope that he'll be still and drift off. Just when I think we've got success, I can sense his hand moving...slowly, ever so slowly until he very lightly places his hand on my head. Like he thinks if he does it quietly enough I won't notice. I try not to burst out laughing. I'm on to you G!

And sleep finally comes.

One of those quirky things about your child that you can never envision when you dream about what your children might some day be like. I should treasure this little connection for as long as I can right? Because some day he won't want to hold my hand, let alone touch my hair. I just hope I won't one day end up needing a wig!